#168 | FROM ENVY TO EXCELLENCE: HOW GRACE FUELS SUCCESS

Carter Ferguson
Jul 6
6 min read

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: ScareScotland Talent Agency.

https://www.scarescotland.co.uk

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. Jealousy, on the other hand, is a waste of time and energy. Instead of focusing on someone else's success, channel your efforts into becoming the best version of yourself. Jim Rohn

In last week’s show I looked into the age-old adage that You Reap What You Sow, and looked in detail at what that means for creatives. Please do check it out if you missed it, it’s another simple but important lesson that will keep you focused on the stuff that really matters.

Now, have you ever looked at another freelancer’s success and felt a pang of jealousy? Or found yourself stuck in a loop of comparing your career to others? Don’t worry—you’re not alone. Today, I’ll be talking about how you can approach your freelance career with grace in order to overcome jealousy.

Grace and jealousy might seem unrelated to productivity at first glance, but they hold significant relevance to our life and work.

I have touched upon this topic before, but I still see it arise here and there in conversations and in occasional professional interactions with others.

In last week’s show, one of the things that came up was how gossip can have long lasting effects on your reputation. Not being the subject of it, but being the person who gossips, and I have been in a situation where having been told by others that a competitor of mine was slagging me off, and that for - I’m not joking - for 10 years or more I believed that gossip and looked upon that person with a degree of annoyance, or envy, only to later in life become very good friends with them, when both of us finally just sat down and talked. I’m talking again about fellow fight director and all-round good egg as I am sure he would deem himself, David Goodall. I mean for years and years I was like, for fucks sake, every time I heard something about some job he was fight directing on. Someone once told me he’d done a fight and someone had a sword stuck in their wrist during it, and I lapped it up, believed it, because it backed up the opinion which I’d formed based on, what I later in life eventually decided, just felt was wrong. Seeking information that supports a pre-existing narrative, such as believing a competitor is inferior, is a confirmation bias, and that’s what I’d been doing. Google describes confirmation bias in case you are wondering as; the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one's existing beliefs or theories.

This mind bias leads us to search for, interpret, and favour information that aligns with our pre-established beliefs while dismissing or ignoring information that contradicts them. That’s what happened between me and David. Somewhere along the line I just stopped believing the narrative I had swallowed in the past, and we started talking, eventually as I say by just sitting down, and my admitting that I had previously believed and felt that he was an aggressive enemy, whereas the truth was he wasn’t like that at all. It's important to be aware of bias and strive to approach information objectively. David and I later in life shared jobs, passed work to one another and talked often right up until his passing. The production coordinators that tried to play us against each other, to get better rates or whatever, never realised that we were actually communicating the whole time and we caught them in so many lies that it was regularly becoming a source of much laughter.

Like many other in his life, I miss David Goodall every day now. It was grace that brought us together, and we benefitted greatly from the friendship that came of it.

I’d add an addendum to that story by saying that there have been other competitors who have spread stories about me, which I have in turn been told, that my grace is not willing to counter, as they really are idiots filled with envy for my position and career, but perhaps eventually, they too will get over themselves and find the grace to find objectivity. My grace of favour does not always extend to offering my blessing to these sorts of people, or to those whose values do not align with my own.

Grace, in the context I bring up here is about kindness, understanding, and patience—both for yourself and others. In freelancing, it means letting go of perfectionism, forgiving your own mistakes, and celebrating others’ successes without resentment. It is a willingness to show kindness and compassion towards others, and ourselves, even when it may not be expected or deserved.

Grace improves our productivity because if we can imbue it or instil it within ourselves:

It will reduce the mental clutter we unwittingly collect caused by self-criticism or envy.
It also encourages a state of mind where mistakes can be seen as learning opportunities.
·And it builds healthier relationships with our peers and collaborators.

Be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Chetan Bhagat

The arch rival of Grace of course, is Jealousy. It is often triggered when we perceive a potential threat to a relationship, status, or a resource and often comes from a fear of losing something valuable or a perceived lack of equity in comparison to others, leading to negative emotions and potentially harmful behaviours.

I say that you must acknowledge jealousy and temper it with grace if you are to gain control over it so remember that jealousy is a natural emotion, especially in competitive creative industries. It’s not bad in itself but it’s what you do with it that matters. And you can always reframe jealousy: Instead of seeing someone’s success as proof of your failure, view it as evidence of what’s achievable.

I’ve told this story before but I will never forget when Kevin McKidd who was the year above me at college, got his initial success in the film Trainspotting. I just thought it was the best thing because he proved that success was possible for all of us. I did however meet a fellow classmate if his sometime later that was just filled with envy for Kev’s success. That guy went absolutely nowhere.

By embracing grace, through empathy, kindness, and understanding in our interactions with others, we can overcome the negative impacts of jealousy, such as reduced focus, damaged relationships, and self-esteem issues. In the end, a gracious attitude to our life and work enables us to make better decisions, build resilience, and achieve more fulfilling outcomes in both our personal and professional lives.

And if you need some tips to manage jealousy productively then try some of these:

Limit social media if it triggers comparisons – as Theodore Roosevelt famously said - Comparison is the thief of joy. I have had a forced limiting of social media in recent months due to my having been so busy with work, and I am grateful for it.
Next, Focus on your own goals, not someone else’s timeline. The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.
Finally, if you think it will help, keep a journal to remind yourself of your own successes, and when you have a win, celebrate it.

Acknowledge all of your small victories. They will eventually add up to something great. Kara Goucher

Freelancing doesn’t have to be lonely or overwhelming. By embracing grace, letting go of jealousy, and enjoying the journey, you can make their career not just productive, but joyful.