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Episode 126 | WHO DO YOU SPEND YOUR TIME WITH?



This episode is sponsored by Petra Kolb


Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with and today I’m going to be considering what that actually means.


Before I get into that though let me just say welcome back to the show. I greatly appreciate the time that you commit to listening to, breaking into your busy schedules for a little bit of advice on whatever topic I have chosen that week and I am also very grateful for the feedback which you give when we interact on social media. There’s been a real influx of followers on Twitter in recent weeks, and it’s y hope by the time this goes out that the @filmproprodpod account will have passed 9000.


Last week I started off the new season with an episode all about the cycle or productivity, which is stuck to can help you with drive and focus but if short circuited can lead to a slowing down of your achievements and derail your goals. Please go back and check it out of you missed it.

Don't leave it to the law of averages to make you break even. Mike Caro

When Jim Rohn says You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with he is talking in terms of the law of averages, which is the theory that the result of any given situation will be the average of all outcomes.


In order to increase our wins, we've also got to increase our losses and when it comes to relationships, we are greatly influenced — whether we like it or not — by those closest to us.


Our interactions with them affect our way of thinking, our self-esteem, and our decisions. Of course, everyone is their own person, but research has shown that we're more affected by our environment than we think.


The people you spend the most time with shape who you are. They determine what conversations dominate your attention. They affect to which attitudes and behaviours you are regularly exposed. And what Jim Rohn is saying here is that eventually you start to think like they think and behave like they behave.

Psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, says of this that [the people you habitually associate with] determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life.”

That’s huge and that’s why I’m highlighting this here on the podcast as it has important consequences.


The dream in your heart may be bigger than the environment in which you find yourself. Sometimes you have to get out of that environment to see that dream fulfilled.


For me this is all part of High-Level Thinking and of taking back control. I think about it quite often and in recent years I have actively removed one or two people from my life, possibly three or four now that I think on it, who did not better my life, from my circle of friends.


Now that may sound quite cold, and it would be a fair accusation to level but in equal measure I have sought out and built upon the friendships of more positive relationships that I have had. As I work on these episodes, I am also prepping for another short film that I plan to shoot before the end of the year, and I have spent some time looking for old and new collaborators that will better the projects which I would like to shoot.

If I am to shoot again, I want to have the best people I can gather round about me. I want to have friendly, capable people that carry their weight as in the past I have all too often found myself carrying others across the finishing line, as they simply didn’t have the ability to get their themselves. This additional work, carrying others, or apologising for them, or fixing problems that they had created, sapped my energy and my focus and damaged the projects on which we were engaged.


I’ve created several very popular episodes recently on toxic archetypes and I can absolutely say that I have actively removed at least one narcissist and several other toxic types from my life and work. Even once these people are gone however you I find that their influence upon me, their negative influence takes some time to shift.

It’s a fact of life that some people hold us back, while other propel us forward. That’s just the way it is, so you might as well accept it and learn how to deal with it instead of wishing that reality was different. Maarten van Doorn

You can’t hang out with negative people and expect to have a positive life. More importantly perhaps, if you do all the right things, but don’t get around people who hold you to a higher standard, then you are more likely to fail.


The lesson here is to actively construct your social environment. Don’t let it depend on proximity or chance or on how it has always been, but consciously plan which opinions, attitudes and life-philosophies you do and do not allow to be in your life.

These days, people are keen to emphasize that everyone lives in his or her own bubble. In that case, we might as well try to make sure that our bubble is the one that rises highest — the one that makes us reach our goals. Maarten van Doorn

It’s for you to figure out who he best people to surround yourself with are but let me propose one guiding principle that you can use in deciding on your criteria for picking your team.


Surround yourself with people you admire. We become like the people that we choose to expose ourselves to. It follows that you can accelerate your personal growth in whatever direction you want by spending time with people who already are who you want to become.


They will infect you with the behaviors and attitudes that helped them achieve their success, making it more likely that you will realize similar results in your life.

These people shouldn’t be yes men by the way. In the words of John Wooden, in relation to bettering yourself, Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who'll argue with you.

Abraham Lincoln said “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” So if you truly want to find success you really need to invest in the tools that you’re going to be using.


Choosing who you surround yourself with is just as important as the tools that you need to do the job, or to live the life. Sharpening your axe in this context involves distancing yourself from, or cutting off entirely people who frustrate your efforts or steal your time, focus or money is step 1. Finding brilliant people, a mastermind group as it were, and surrounding yourself with them, is step 2. The rest is still the same hard work and focused time and attention that you’ve always given. By making this change though, your odds have just improved tenfold.


Today’s call to action is to ask yourself: Who do you spend the most time with? Who are the people you most admire? Are those two groups of people the same? Write down the names of the people you already spend the most time with and root out those that you feel may be holding you back. Then write a second list of those that you want to know better and who you admire. Once you have those lists you can start making moves to change things.


Incidentally, I appreciate that if you are a live at home parent you may well be spending a lot of time with and be taking on the habits and behaviors to some extent of those little people that you are spending the most time with. I don’t have an offhand solution for you on that one, but you may still be able to identify other toxic types that are in your life, and you can still make positive changes on some level by limiting exposure to the adults that you interact with who bring you down.

Mastermind and collaborate with other smart entrepreneurs if they have futures that are even bigger than their present. Yanik Silver

In next week’s show I’m talking about why you should be identifying your weaknesses. At least I think I am, I’m toying with another idea too but we shall see. Tune in next week to find out for sure!

I hope to see you there but in the mean time I’ll end with some words from Victoria Osteen who said In life, we will always encounter difficult people. Don't allow them to frustrate you or steal your joy.


Now take control of your own destiny, keep on shootin’ and join me next time on FILM PRO PRODUCTIVITY AND SUCCESS!


• The music you can hear right now is Adventures by A Himitsu and the exec producer this season is Christopher McPhillips from Artos Digital

• You can view the show notes for this episode on the official website filmproproductivity.com

• You can follow my personal account on Twitter and Instagram @fight_director or follow the show on Twitter @filmproprodpod or on Facebook @Filmproproductivity

• Please support the show by subscribing, spreading the word and leaving an AWESOME review.


Season 10 Executive Producer: Christopher McPhillips from Artos Digital


2-time winners of 'Social Media Agency of the Year' at the Prestige Awards; Artos Digital specialise in marketing communications, coaching and personal branding. Owner Christopher McPhillips launched the business from his home in Bathgate and now works alongside his wife, Electra, for specialised event-management and fundraising. Enjoying a broad portfolio of clients over the years, ranging from established enterprises to start-up's - a good fit for Artos Digital given their adaptable and agile approach. Christopher and Electra have combined their talents for three significant clients this past year: Reconnect, a SCIO who run the Regal Theatre in Bathgate; Pro2 Wrestling in Ayr; and Puppet Animation Scotland in Edinburgh.



References:



Thanks: A Himitsu Music: Adventures by A Himitsu


Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported— CC BY 3.0

Music released by Argofox https://www.youtu.be/8BXNwnxaVQE

Music provided by Audio Library https://www.youtu.be/MkNeIUgNPQ8 –––

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